it wasn't meant to play like this
you were meant to hold off for a little while longer
you were never meant to cry
you were never meant to fucking cry love

I've never done anything more tragic
than moving carnally
watching tears splash on the skirt of
the woman
I am fucking

what the fuck have we done

what the fuck have we done
in the cold light of day
with no alcohol
or dark room
to excuse it?

I am so sorry for taking you to the brink
and for going through with this
and if you have to tell him
I will save you
and deliver you
but your tears...

this has become such a sad thing
how to fuck in misery...
how could you fuck in misery?
such a cold or broken heart
and I knew it as I moved in you
but still
what the fuck could I do?

aching as we went
and scraping with
each touch
knowing in my skin
that every little touch
and kiss
is a rape
and a sick
sad
mingling
of cum
and tears


oh shit

will you be there on Monday?

I can't look at the message you've just sent
I can't bear the thought of words
of explanation
or apology
and what else could it be?

The sorriest
most painful fuck
in all my life

But I will save you

I will save you

your brown hair wet
upon my neck
the warmth of your thigh upon my hand
the urgency of your tongue
but you will not stop to look
you will not stop to look at me
into my eyes
such shame
such a shame you bring to this

you smell like
every woman I ever wanted
but better
you smell like the one place I belong
the perfume and your damp skin
and your saliva
I do not want to be looking back on this

but here I am
as though it was an age ago

how can you break my heart?
how?
you can't
you can't
not holding you

it was the putting on of clothes
and the unlocking of the door
and the drying of your eyes

fuck I could go on forever

why did you go through with this?
why did you fall upon me
as though I was some kind of fucking sword?

when I wake up tomorrow I will
be so happy and so unhappy

there could have been another way


I'll help you