today patient Faye announced her victory
I smiled graciously
and feigned a pleasure that reminded me of fallen men giving surrender
when even this decision has been made for them

I downed a few half-glasses of whisky
I howled at the moon

when I was twenty-eight
or maybe twenty-nine
I was dancing in a smoky room in Camden
fucking Camden
and Faye sent word:
"I'm horny and it's Christmas,
there is no one fun at this party"

I was drunk, always drunk,
I told her I would fuck her

That night, she replied with a picture
standing naked in her bedroom mirror,
her arms covering nipples
her phone covering eyes
it was a wonderful, private gift that I treasured

I immediately showed it to all my friends

a week passed,
I agreed to meet her for a drink
when Faye entered the bar
she looked as pretty as a picture
I will confess I was a little nervous,
I was already hammered,
flirting with the waitress,
prepared or scared to complete the longest foreplay in history.
She said:
"My friends have been asking about you for years,
asking when we'd finally meet"
I laughed
"What about your friends? What do they say about me?"
This was when it began to fall apart
inevitably.

The music was loud, I could barely hear her talk
I drank too much,
she yelled:
"You just meet girls in bars and fuck them, don't you?"
"Yes" I lied,
I answered as I thought she wanted.
I was wrong.
She left at 11
her gloved hand on me as if I was a leper
saying "we must do this again."

"Sure, Faye, sure".
It was our last exchange

I don't think she has those breasts no more
and I know she's lost that long black hair
she's a champion, everybody says so
she's a survivor, a touching symbol of hope
but honestly, when I see her,
patient Faye,
all I see is failure
and much of what I feel is anger
this is how I know she made the right call.
I smile graciously.