10 minutes ago
I came round
found myself
slumped in a black leather couch
lips are dry
voice as deep as rolling thunder
a growling tiger

it takes a while for the memories to fall to order
but when they do
I see a woman spread upon an unfamiliar bed
a dark red room
and incense

David is in this house
I hear fucking from the other rooms
Get out get out
the urgency still powerful now,
I fled across dark London

running across the Waterloo Bridge
I screamed Claudine's name
I screamed
"Claudine, I'm coming, ready or not"
It was
of course
a joke

and then still drugged
I fell upon this leather couch
and passed out

Have you reached rock bottom, my son
or is this the paramount?
I go to the bathroom
fill up the sink with water
the boiler is broken
it is so cold
it shocks my beating heart
something hurts
something on my chest
I take off my shirt
and there are scratches
dried blood
what the fuck?

The fuck:
mid thirties
artist Bohemia
scented oils and candle wax
new age spiritualist
shallow sentiment, weak ideas
after she puts her nails in
I tell her my spirit won't bond with hers
just like it didn't with all the others
then I feel sick
so sick
I leave
I do not give a reason
I do not need one

David calls
"what happened to you?"
this question becoming all too regular now

I woke up, David
I woke up
and saw myself