in the sheets are the stains we made
had I been of clearer mind
with sleep and sobriety
they would be clean again

had I been a kinder man
with more sleep and less alcohol inside
I would not have stroked your head
and kissed you in the morning
or walked with you on the Common in the winter sunshine
talking of swans and music and children

had I the strength to go back I would go back
and undo my smiles
alter my words
to make them less considered
put other songs in my heart
put other girls in my arms
and not held you for so long
had I the strength,
that is,
which I do not