You

where you were

a filament in a bed machine

a pair of eyes for the paused moon

You

where you were

in photographs of parks and seas

in summers full of poetry

and wank

You

where you were,

do you even remember now?

Once, looking over your shoulder as we walked to Hebden Bridge

you said

“I never found god, but I found something human to love” -

isn't that a shame,

isn't that a laughable shame?

Oh look,

you,

with your eyes closed and your arms crossed

riding the tube and acting lost.

See how you let me down?

I dare you,

I dare you to make a deeper mark,

to brave hell and hate

and forget the seas and parks,

exchange it all for violence

in a distant jungle

where maybe if you're lucky,

amidst the blood lust and the scorching sun

you'll wake up

or find god

or better still,

become someone.