July 2006

nine minutes have been concluded
without applause
For how much longer, I wonder,
Will I wait

Now here you come
Smiling far too easily for my liking
I will surely leave you

How many other crippled men have thought these thoughts on this very bench
In their tiny hearts and little minds
Too many cycles, too much has passed
Too much time
I will be sick

If you are right, and I have lost perspective
In pushing you away
I point the figure at this city
And its monuments of empire and decay
Don't act like you don't love me
But you don't love me
You do not know the fool you're sitting with

I am sorry, in your lunchbreak
That I take this out on you:
That the universe is mechanized
And distance is no obstacle
That age is overwhelming us
And I cannot begin to finish the book
That she died and she isn't anywhere
And I still haven't pledged an oath to you
That ultimately, I do not care
About anything that happened after 1992

I am not a slave
Do not forgive me
I did not wait
There was no applause
I crave praise
But not yours
I know you
Leave me