because I offered up my longing
too eagerly
too openly
too hungrily
you have taken your hand away

you have removed the rail about me
torn away the rope
left me hanging
aching
all because my eyes were eating you

I am sick of waiting, empty
at York station
for your train

It always comes
and so do you
just once I wish the tannoy would fall on to my side
and utter to the platform crowds
"she is never coming back,
She is a liar with a heart of stone
that no fair fuck can crack"

I am sick, these days, with envy
With bitterness and pride
I am green, most days, in mornings,
my taste for words has soured

"I am sorry for the worship that I brought you
in my rituals of longing
and despair"

But Lord knows I do not mean it
So don't come back
I am contagious now.